Monday, 30 January 2012

How do you think things through?

Offered a guaranteed way to make a million pounds -
Will you follow the plan to the letter or look for ways to improve it or do it differently?

How do you reason things out? If you like to stick to procedures and follow the rules, then given a sure fire way to make a million you will probably do just that. If however you prefer to keep your options open and find it difficult to follow rules and procedures then you are likely to take the less conventional route - and may miss out on the million!

What's your pattern?
Most people blend options and procedures in their way of reasoning. In relationships we need a bit of each.  Living with someone who is at an extreme can present challenges!

How do you identify your preference and your partner's preference for thinking things through?
Ask a question like "How did you choose your car / house / holiday last year?"
What you are listening for in the answer is either some 'criteria' or 'a story': 
  • An 'Options' answer will list the reasons:- Within price range; right colour; good fuel consumption; etc;.
  • A 'Procedures' answer will be a story going through the process:- 'We saw this garage we hadn't been to before and stopped to see what they had..' etc;. 
If you are motivated by following procedure and also like to know the detail of things, this will be a very long story. If such a story is interupted it may have to be started again from the beginning!
If like Nigel you are 'options', 'big picture' and 'internally referenced' the answer will be "I just knew it was right!" (Check out other patterns to see how they work together like this).
For Jenny hearing this and liking 'procedures', 'big picture with detail' and 'externally referenced' this is not always quite enough information.

You might also notice..
  • Your partner drives you mad by always wanting to do things the right way. Or always wanting to do things a different way.
  • He or she insists on only doing one thing at a time. Or confuse you by always thinking of yet another way to reach your destination.
  • You like to start a job at the begining and keep going until you reach the end. You find that too boring and never finish anything, knowing your partner will do it for you.

Does any of this sound familiar? Does it cause friction in your relationship?
Let us know how you deal with your interesting differences or if it's all too much get in touch and see if we can help you communicate better.

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